We always have great hopes for Valentino couture gowns. When the last emperor, Mr. Valentino himself, designed couture, there was no greater eveningwear that could be made. Every gown was a masterpiece. But this couture collection looks like Little House on the Prairie. All the gowns were ballgowns and most of them were in prints – and had sleeves. No sex appeal here. Maybe Chloe Sevigny could pull one of these babies off – but it would have to be someone as cool as she is to do it. These are just simply matronly. Okay, maybe Meryl Streep could wear one to the Oscars. Maybe.

Chanel Couture has always made a huge splash at the Oscars – on stars like Nicole Kidman, Michelle Williams, Sarah Jessica Parker, Marion Cottilard. However, this spring 2012 collection was not the best for gowns. That doesn’t mean that whoever wears one: Rooney Mara or Williams again, or Jessica Chastain, let’s say – would necessarily have it look like this. Oscar gowns are built for the particular person and occasion – but they do attempt to reflect the trends of the previous couture show. Karl showed his gowns mostly in shades of blue, used elements of sheerness and traditional Chanel jackets (one with a fishtail skirt that was pretty cool – but would never work on a red carpet) – he even showed one voluminous print moomoo style that will hopefully never touch soil in Los Angeles.

This short sequin cocktail dress with a ballerina hem and sleeves might work in a longer length.

Chanel Couture was shown in Paris this week, for spring 2012 – and while generally, we’ve never met any Chanel we didn’t like – let’s just say it wasn’t the strongest collection of all time. In fact, it was a little bit dowdy. Lagerfeld experiment with a lot of stiff shapes, very round necked jackets and dresses that made the models’ heads and necks look small – and rounded big sleeves that were unflattering. Even the gowns were not at their tip top form. The entire collection focuses on shapes of blue, which are quite nice – and often embellished a little too much – but the shapes just are too 1960′s Mary Quant in heavy wool – and those shapes look best when they are less boxy and more flowing. We’ll show you the Chanel Couture gowns in another post, but here, have a look at the cocktail and day dresses. Will any of these make it to the Oscar nominees’ lunch? Perhaps on Michelle Williams? She’s the only one who could make this look good.

When Cameron Diaz showed up at the couture in Paris, showing off platinum frizzy shorter unkempt hair – the press went crazy. Her body, of course, looks amazing. But the hair was a disaster, and was definitely NOT flattering to her face. Then she showed up at Dior in a Dior cute polka dot dress, but with a weird rockabilly slicked back pompadour. Finally, at Chanel Couture, in chic black and white, she wore her hair straight and sharp in a short bob much like her look in “There’s Something About Mary” – and she looks much much better. She just can’t pull off that fell outta bed look anymore – it doesn’t work after 35. Or maybe ever. Unless you’re Blake Lively.

Newly minted Oscar nominee Jessica Chastain (“The Help”) was in Paris this morning for Giorgio Armani’s Prive couture showing – which means the Oscar gown wooing is well under way. While the actress sat in the front row, 9 hours ahead of L.A. time, she got a cell phone call that she’d received her very first Oscar nomination. Folks on hand snapped her happy reaction, and she got applause from many who were present at the show. Now Armani Prive’ will probably always be her lucky label.

There’s something in the air. Or something with the hair. All of a sudden, celebrities are changing up their hairdo’s a lot, and not for the good, necessarily. Perhaps some of these ladies should take a hint from Angelina Jolie, who always wear simple perfect hair – never too fussy. And it never ever changes. She know her best look. Apparently, Madonna does not. She had her blonde tresses pinned into waves for the New York premier of “W.E.” – so she resembles Wallis Simpson herself! Maybe in normal clothes, it might have worked – but with this over the top Marchesa gown, it just looked like a 1930′s costume from a garish movie. Cameron Diaz’s hair experiment – a platinum short bob – really isn’t working for her. Her stringy blond hair to her shoulders was better than this bizarre look.

Katherine Heigl, whose hair color seems to change as often as her outfits, is back to blond but slicking it back. Actually, she looks a little bit more sophisticated with it like this. And of course, Kelly Osbourne’s new grey hair is like a fright wig – but it will be interesting to see if young women now start reversing the old process and dying dark hair grey!

The fashion world experienced a loss today when neither Charlize Theron nor Tilda Swinton got nominations – two tall slender women who wear clothes like no one else. Still, Rooney Mara will be going, and she’s got very interesting style. Still, many of the major nominees in lead and supporting categories are not what we call “fashion people.” Only Jessica Chastain, Michelle Williams and Rooney Mara really are. That’s going to leave a lot of Oscar red carpet hungry designers out in the dust. Berenice Bejo, nominated for best supporting actress for “The Help” says she doesn’t want her dress to outshine her personality, and what she has in mind for the Oscars is to please her husband, director Michel Hazanavicus. Octavia Spencer, who favors Tadashi and David Meister, wants to show off her cleavage, and stay loyal to the designers who’ve worked with her prior to her new Oscar elevation. And Viola Davis just wants to have fun with her dress, and says awards season is making her into “a girly girl.” And her recent Globes gown (by Pucci) and PGA gown (Herve L. Leroux) prove it.

Versace, specifically Donatella Versace, hasn’t shown couture since 2004, so this Paris fashion week of couture should have been a big comeback for them. But it was just some futuristic odd shapes that no one, not even Nicole Kidman – who wore Versace to the Globes – could carry this weirdness. These looks bare NO resemblance to the amazing dress Angelina Jolie wore of Versace’s to the Globes, but then, that was made for her, and no doubt under the aegis of her stylist Jen Rade, who really knows what works for the star. Donatella, knowing the Oscars are coming, was not thinking of this show as a branding tool for stars, obviously. However, she’s got such loyal followers that she can maybe do a show like this and still dress Angelina and Nicole and Jennifer Lopez in looks that are much more red carpet appropriate. Meanwhile, Donatella did bring out Cameron Diaz and Diane Kruger and always has a star following, no matter what.

While the world waits for Christian Dior to finally assign a major designer name to their brand, after John Galliano’s exit, the house’s defacto designer Bill Gaytten showed a really lovely couture collection this week. As Marc Jacobs, Alber Elbaz and Riccard Ticci turned down the top Dior design job – and word is it will be Jil Sander designer Raf Simmons – Gaytten showed a couture collection of amazing cocktail dresses and – well, pretty good gowns. The gowns were so ultra sheer we can’t imagine anyone wearing one to the Oscars. And Dior’s major fashion mascot Charlize Theron didn’t get a nomination, so that might cancel them out anyway. But these cocktail dresses in mostly black and white (one amazing red look) remind us of Dior’s 1947 New Look: fitted bodices, some peplums, and VERY full volume skirts, many of them sheer. The combo of the retro silhouette and the sheer fabrics made a fabulous new entity. We could totally see Rooney Mara in one of these pups.
Maybe not to Oscars, but to parties before and after. Perhaps Gaytten will snag the big job after all.